Flashback to 1998, SalmanKhan´s Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai. Salman prancing around on the streets with a number of girls under each arm crooning "Pehle Pehle Bar".  Remember that? Then you know half of the story of Venus Films Limited latest offer, Hum Ho Gaye Aap Ke. At a time when Bollywood is being revived with different films, Hum Ho Gaye Aap Ke will be without a doubt a run of the mill fare, that most will watch once, if it at all. Even the recently released Tum Bin (A movie everyone should watch, simply for the music!) provided for a change in your average romantic film, this film doesn´t.

If I were to list the number of Hindi films this one is replicated from this review would be too long! Aside from that, I would say that the film, barring its twins from past Indian Cinema, could have been a decent fare. With a good team, such as Venus, Nadeem Shravan-Sameer, one could have expected "the same old love story” just a little better. However it is not, and it is sad because it is for sure Fardeen´s string of successful films ends here.

Rishi (Fardeen) a.k.a. "Player Extraordinaire" specializes in three things: sex, drugs, and parties. Of course, the guy does have some brains, he realizes that if he doesn't workhe can't pay for his lavish life style. Hence he is also a business tycoon who takes his job seriously (after all!). Rishi is the son of big shot billionaire Oberoi (Suresh Oberoi) who concurs with his son's views that money is everything (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!) Since the film couldn't be a two person show (After all, where would the story come to play?), we of course have the desperately seeking a hit (or rather desperately trying to make it) actor to play the second fiddle, and the last angle of the triangle. If you don't know already, its Apoorva Aghinotri, who plays Mohan, a gushy guy who is all about morals, one love in life, and not about drugs, party and sex. Wait, of course, they don't fall in love with each other, they fall in love with another girl (the same one!) Shocked! When was the last time you saw that in Bollywood?

At a beauty contest between the male and female colleges, they both see Chandni (Reema Sen). Chandni is a challenge to Rishi, and a dream to Mohan. So begins this unique tale of lovers, playboy, and friends, with the additional stuff. Rishi pursues a relationship with Chandni endlessly. He even states that he would have her in his bed one day. Mohan pursues a relationship with Chandni endlessly, he even says, "I love you" (after a meeting or so). Chandni pursues a relationship with both of them leading them both on. Eventually she does, first there comes the "I love Mohan" segment, then the "Oh Mohan you dog", then the "Mommy I want you to find someone for me to marry", then there is the part where she leaves the fiancee Mandeep, (Mahesh Thakur) at the altar because it was all just a stupid error, then comes the big decision! Classy? No?

However, it is not over yet! Before the winner of this long and dull challenge in love gets his prize, another obstacle comes in their way! Rishi´s father has something to say about it too! "(How dare you settle down with one woman, you dog!)"

Barring the sarcasm displayed in this review, Hum Ho Gaye Aap Ke can be seen once. Here are a few reasons why you can pick up the DVD:

1) Nothing else to watch.
2) Just turned off Bas Itna Sa Khwab Hai in the middle of the film because you couldn´t take the dullness anymore
3) Nadeem Shravan´s best song on the soundtrack "Abhi To Mohabbat Ka".

While on music, it does help the film, minimally. I am a huge Nadeem Shravan fan. I cannot put down Kasoor or Dhadkan and you will always see a copy of Aashiqui in my car because it never leaves it! However, I wouldn´t think twice about calling this a "rehash" soundtrack as it consists mostly of rehashes of most of N-S´s previous tunes.

Picturization is a different story. At some portions, the film is shot in New Zealand and it is pleasurable to watch. Cinematography is good all across the board. The locales are helpful in making one feel they haven´t completely wasted their money, but they don´t do much.

Choreography is functional.The worst songs (because of the lyrics), "Ishq HaiKya" and "Re Mama" are all choreographed decently, with "Re Mama" standing out more. Suman´s special appearance (special?!) in the song seemed appropriate since we couldn´t have the "conservative" Chandni breaking down to such a tune. The title track is also entertaining both visually and musically. "Pehli Bar Dil Ye" has been shown on all of the promos and is the nicest of them all.

Star cast fails. I haven´t heard of the film being in the making for a while, but it sure seems as if it was. Fardeen seems very young as an actor (both with looks and talents), Nadeem-Shravan´s score seems old, and the story is old as well. Fardeen, who could have taken his role in Pyaar Tune Kya Kiya a little further here, doesn´t! He doesn´t fit the role of a playboy, but is not a total dud. He shows some appeal when trying to coarse Chandni, but just a little. Apoorva is somehow watchable however he did a heck of a better job in Kasoor (that´s not saying much.). Reema Sen is only a tad better than Lisa Ray, Kim Sharma, etc. She does look visually appealing and shows a spark of talent, at times, while at others she is just there. However, it can become sadly obvious how the newcomers in Tum Bin displayed more talent in their debut film. In Reema´s defense, her "dullness" would probably be because of her poor character sketching, but at a number of times, specifically when she leaves Mandap, or when she concurs to Rishi and Mohan, her facial expressions fail to appeal to the viewer. She is in Guddu Dhanoa´s next film "Jaal: The Trap" with top notch stars like Sunny Deol, Tabu, Jackie, and one can only hope she does a better job there.

Ahathian´s script is a case of  loopholes galore. Aside from that, it doesn´t appeal to the audience, and the loopholes are not easily overlooked.

Venus films have failed this time, and that´s kind of a disappointment since we usually don´t say that a lot. Though the film does have it's touch of class, it falters in all of the other areas to even make it somewhere. Dhadkan, which was in no way an original to the core film, was handled sensitively and in the appropriate time period. HHGAK is long, dragged out, and doesn´t attract. To top that off the actors are all out of place, and the music is mediocre, plain and simple. Fardeen has been on a roll but will surely fall flat here. Ahathian´s last film Sirf Tum was definitely a better product, and it´s safe to say that Ahathian is not acomplete washout of a director, but, as with anyone, can use some touchups as well.

Venus´s next film will also see the same duo again, Nadeem Shravan and Sameer, and will also be with fresh faces. The film, Tumse Accha Kaun Hai will feature Kim Sharma and two new stars and is already on the roll. At a time when different films are the thing Hum Ho Gaye Aap Ke is let down from both Venus and Ahathian, hopefully Tumse Accha Kaun Hai won´t be.