Planet Bollywood
Producer: F. K. Films Pvt. Ltd.
Director: Feroz Khan
Starring: Feroz Khan, Fardeen Khan, Celina Jaitley, Pinky Hirwani (Intr.), Kashmira Shah, Harsh Chayya, Yash Tonk, Archana Puran Singh and Johnny Lever
Music: Anand Raaj Anand, Channi Singh, Sukhwinder Singh a
Lyrics: Dev Kholi, Parveen Bhardwaj, Tejpal Kaur, Timon Si
Genre: Suspense
Recommended Audience: Adult
Film Released on: 25 November 2003
Reviewed by: Narbir Gosal  - Rating: 1.0 / 10
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Public Rating Average: 5.11 / 10 (rated by 410 viewers)
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I┬┤m going to make it official right now by stating that Feroz Khan has lost his mind. The name that once produced and directed movies like Apradh, Dharmatma, Qurbani and Janbaaz really disappoints with his latest Janasheen. If you thought that Boom (released earlier this year) was horribly executed, poorly edited and loaded with vulgarity, well then check out the latest kichdi that Feroz is trying to pass off as a movie. Janasheen suffers in every single department; horrible performances, cringe inducing song direction, some of the wackiest characters and a crazy plot line that will have you confused in no time. While watching the film you can┬┤t help but feel that this movie is a C grade entertainer disguised as a top of the line production! Janasheen is nothing more than a comedy of errors, it will have you laughing out loud and rolling in the aisles, but for all the wrong reasons.

Here´s what the story of the film looks like from my point of view. Lucky (Fardeen Khan) is a wannabe bike racer who lives in Sydney with his modern aunt Martha (Archana Puran Singh). Lucky and his father (Harsh Chayya) don´t share a great relationship, which is why Lucky is in Sydney with his mausi and his father lives in India where he runs a club called Angaar. Enter Saba Karim (Feroz Khan in a crazy getup) who wants to buy Angaar for $300 million (even though the club looks like it´s got a market value of $5.00 at the most), from Lucky´s dad. Saba also takes a very strange liking to Lucky after he spots him on a rooftop one day (and instantly ´falls in love?´...well that´s the way it seems anyhow). Unknowingly he kills Lucky´s dad and that´s when all the lies begin and the back stories start pouring out. Thrown into the mix is a partially blind (and partially dressed) violinist named Jessica (Celina Jaitley), who is Lucky´s childhood love, and her brother Max (Yash Tonk) who is a DJ at the club. There is also Lucky´s wannabe girl Reema (Pinky Hirwani) and Lucky´s fight master (Johnny Lever in a perverse role). Oh and before I forget, there is this cocaine snorting, bike riding, bad girl (a signature in F.K. productions) named Tina (Kashmira Shah) who looks more like a transvestite than a lady. 

When watching Janasheen you can´t help but wonder where Feroz Khan´s mind is? First let´s begin with the story and direction. The plot (if you can call it that) is filled with unnecessary characters, situations and sub-plots. Too much time is wasted in countless sub plots that hold the story back from progressing. The story offers no thrills and there is no suspense. The audience cannot connect with the characters because they are under developed. It´s hard to feel any sympathy for such a lame group of individuals. Janasheen offers nothing new in terms of story, and the treatment really brings the movie down. The direction of several scenes leaves the audience feeling cheated. As stated earlier there is too much time wasted on back plots which aren´t needed. For instance, Celina is partially blind so we get a back story of an abusive father. Another example is the race sequence, which seems to have been added only because Lucky likes to race (this is of no importance to the story). In addition the much hyped sequence is horribly directed. Not only is it boring, but all the racers seem to be spending more time crashing off their bikes than racing. It´s so unrealistic that you have to laugh each time you see someone fall off a bike and then the subsequent shot of the ambulance to the rescue. The film is loaded with all sorts of silly scenes. The child angle of the film could have been cut easily, cause it doesn´t build up any foundation for the love angle. The love angle itself is so unconvincing that you don´t root for Lucky or Jessica to get together. With so much time wasted on back stories the viewer looses interest in the main plot line. So many questions remained unanswered through out, chief amongst them is Saba Karim´s fascination for Lucky (which is creepy). By the time we find out (and Feroz reverts into another flashback in Afghanistan) the audience doesn´t really care anymore. One scene that remain with you for all the wrong reasons is Max´s death scene. Kashmira and her biker boys park and break into an impromptu jig amidst the banyan trees, for no rhyme or reason. It is one of the (unintentionally) funniest parts of the film. Feroz Khan has clearly taken too many cinematic liberties in his film (how did Jessica survive the car accident? Why is Lucky so indifferent to his father) and doesn´t bother to answer some vital questions. He doesn´t do any better with song placement or direction. At one point he just utters ´Marhaba´ and then we cut to the desert where Fardeen and a bunch of half dressed girls sing Marhaba! 

The soundtrack boasted of some good tracks, but instead of coming to life onscreen, the songs of Janasheen die there. Of all the tracks only Pyaar Hone Laga Hai passes muster. The rest of the tracks are cheesy and tacky. The ones shot at the club make you giggle cause of Kashmira Shah┬┤s presence onstage (she seems to pop up everywhere), and the ones on the beach begin to look alike by the end of the film. The choreography is absolutely horrible. No one is dancing on beat! The editing is amongst the worst so far this year. Each scene is cut up and re-assembled in such a sloppy manner that the movie comes across as just a collection of shots. Thanks to the horrible editing the film jars and the progress of the story is consistently choppy, there is absolutely no flow. Dialogues and cinematography are about functional. When the film is full of so many flaws, it┬┤s hard to concentrate on even the positives.

And then there are the performances! The one and only performance that stands out is Feroz Khan┬┤s turn as the eccentric Saba Karim. Feroz Khan plays the larger than life character with ease, and fits into the wacky get-up with no problems. He is confident and charming, carrying the role off with ease. The same cannot be said for the rest of the cast. Fardeen is unimpressive. Both him and Celina look totally lost in this enterprise. Fardeen┬┤s performance is inconsistent. At some points he is over performing, and in some scenes he is just being himself. At best it┬┤s a performance that lacks conviction. This is a great leap backwards for Fardeen, he was much better off in Ram Gopal Varma┬┤s hands. Celina Jaitley hardly has any role to speak of, and we should be grateful, Celina is definitely not an actress. In Khel at least she looked like she was trying, here she looks like a spaced out kid. The least she could have done is learn how to make her ┬┤violin playing┬┤ look realistic. In the film she pops up everywhere with the violin in her hand, and each time it looks so amateurish. Her facial expressions are so lifeless that she looks stoned. And before she embarks on any new venture she needs to get herself some help with everything to do with her voice. Vocal expression, tone, dialogue diction etc. are all areas where Celina needs major help and fast. Her dialogue delivery is akin to a five year old, if you thought Amisha Patel┬┤s diction was long and labored, just check out Celina┬┤s. And for some great laughs just check out her emotional scenes! Those beautiful blue eyes can only get you so far, Celina has no talent! The only person in the supporting cast who leaves any impression is Archana Puran Singh in a miscast role. Newcomer Pinky Hirwani is pretty pathetic, she shows a lot of skin, but no talent. Yash Tonk is wasted, as is Harsh Chayya (who only has to look at the camera and smile most of the time). Kashmira Shah leaves an impression, but not a good one. She overplays the role to the hilt! But her performance suffers on two accounts. The first is her make-up, her get up is so scary and out there (think Kalpana Iyer in Raja Hindustani hit Pardesi and you┬┤ll know exactly what to expect) that it┬┤s hard to take her seriously. Anyone who has seen the recent footage of the Janasheen premiere will know how beautiful Kashmira looks these days, so why hide it? The second major flaw is her cocaine snorting! Kashmira ends up wearing more of the powder than snorting it, and with Fardeen on the sets I┬┤m sure she could have got some pointers on making it look more authentic (sorry i couldn┬┤t resist). Instead of being menacing, Kashmira is more comical than anything else. Speaking of comedy, Johnny Lever needs to spruce up his act. His perverted role (in which he actually marries a chimpanzee in some twisted beastiality angle) was not needed. All his jokes fall flat and Johnny comes out looking like the biggest fool of them all!

Janasheen is not a movie that you would watch with your family. It┬┤s one of those rentals you should save until you really have nothing to do (even then I would say not to watch this movie and rent an old favorite instead). I should have taken the hint when none of my local cinemas were showing the film. Instead it was released with no fanfare abroad (On DVD), maybe Feroz realized that no one would take the movie seriously. Feroz hasn┬┤t made a good film since Janbaaz, and while Dayavaan, Yalgaar and Prem Aggan were pretty bad, Janasheen top them all! With a half baked script, horrible performances and nothing going for it what so ever, Janasheen is definitely one of the years worst films. As usual Feroz relies on his sex, lies and drugs formula that he used in the past, but here it doesn┬┤t work! One thing is clear, even checking all logic and expectations at the door won┬┤t help. Feroz has really lost his touch, after this his only remaining competition is Dev Anand.

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