Parwana   Producer: Deepak Bahry Director: Deepak Bahry Starring: Ajay Devgan, Amisha Patel, Pooja Batra. Music: Sanjeev-Darshan Lyrics: Sameer, Afsar Genre: Action Recommended Audience: Parental Guidance Film Released on: 12 September 2003 Reviewed by: Shahid Khan  - Rating: 2.0 / 10   Let us know what you think about this review Music Review

"Parwana" took more than four years to make. But its plot is even older than that timespan, it is as old as the hills.

Ajay Devgan plays a thief. Oh what a ground-breaking role! You know, he has not really essayed that role before and this new role will just shake up modern Hindi cinema. And you know what he has done to bring the controversial role to life? Have inconsistent hairstyles! In one scene, he will be clean-shaven with black hair. In the next, he will have a stubble complete with blond streaks in his hair. Wow! What a magnificent way to add depth to the role.

At the crux of the oh-so-exciting story is some villain, Sharat Saxena, who wants an independent Kashmir and gets help from across the border to bomb India. This bomb is a very frightening bomb. It may look like a broken video player with a timer that doesn´t work but it is powerful enough to have people running screaming from a mela.

Ajay and his gang of useless out-of-work actors, ahem, I mean, friends, do nothing but steal all day. Pooja Batra also joins in their scam. But we all know that as the only female member of the gang, she is only there because she has the hots for Ajay. But, oh no, there is some Sikh guy with a red turban and a large beard who keeps stealing their stolen money from them. One day, Ajay runs after him and they both fall into some conveniently placed swimming pool. The Sikh guy turns out to be Amisha Patel in disguise. Now now, Amisha, I know you might be a little ashamed of being in this z-grade film but there is no need to disguise yourself so much, you are bound to get rumbled eventually.

Ajay falls in love. So, naturally, being in love means being a stalker. As he stalks Amisha, he sees her being kidnapped just as she is about to cross the road. Tut tut, there are so many things that she will do just to get out of this movie. Unfortunately, Ajay follows her all the way to this gangster´s den where all the white girls imported from another country dance to leering customers. She was kidnapped so that the gangster, a Chandrachur-Singh-Lookalike, could demand back the loan he gave her (plus interest at the extremely high rate). You see, acting in flops like "Kranti", "Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage" and stalled movies ala "Suno Sasurjee" and "Zameer" has gotten Amisha into a lot of financial debt.

Don´t worry as Ajay saves her from the badmaash gunday and a few dishums and rona dhonas later, there is a song. The white girls from the stripping club are kind enough to grant the romancing couple with their presence in odd and bizarre tiny costumes. By the way, what country are we in here? It pretends to be India but I am sure those police cars don´t look Indian. And neither do those Chinese people crossing the road. In a sudden twist, Ajay and Amisha get married. At their wedding, Poor Pooja sheds tears. She´s not very happy about this, she was meant to be the heroine of the movie. But due to the way things stand, she won´t be seen again in this film. You can hear "snip" as the rest of her non-existent role is chopped off.

Now that Amisha is a housewife, she must wear saris. She also must get more dumb every minute. She goes and stands right in the middle of the road for two minutes and thwack! She is hit by a car and she does a two point jump down across the road (well her dummy does anyway). Uff, this woman even considers suicide as an exit from this stupid film. Now, Amisha, this is a bad point in your career but there is no need to take such drastic action. At least, your career is not as bad as Pooja Batra´s. Will Ajay let his wife die? Naheen! The doctor wants millions of rupees to do that serious operation where eight nurses and ten doctors all get together and put a bandage around Amisha´s head. Panic-stricken, Ajay goes out onto the streets and steals a briefcase from someone. Only, this briefcase turns out to have a bomb in it. Now, the whole of India is convinced that Ajay is not only a part-time thief, he is also a traitor against the country. Will he be able to prove them wrong?

Needless to say, “Parwana” is a bad film that is poor in every aspect, acting, direction, story, action sequences and even the climax sucks. Only watch this one if you want a headache.