Zeher   Producer: Mukesh Bhatt Director: Mohit Suri Starring: Emran Hashmi, Shamita Shetty, Udita Goswami Music: Roopkumar Rathod re-created by Anu Malik, Mithun S Lyrics: Sayeed Quadri, Shakeel Azmi Genre: Thriller Recommended Audience: Adult Film Released on: 25 March 2005 Reviewed by: Vijay Venkataramanan  - Rating: 3.0 / 10   Let us know what you think about this review Music Review

As I paid for my Aloo Paratha packets at the Indian grocery store, the DVD of “Zeher” caught my eye. Remembering the words of a “critic” who described it as an “intelligent thriller” I decided to risk a viewing. A thriller it certainly is, but I refuse to believe Indian audiences are so intellectually stunted to find a film like this intelligent.

If at all Zeher shows any intelligence, it is on Mukesh Bhatt’s part for making the movie on a miniscule budget and selling it craftily enough to ensure profits for himself and his distributors. All the viewer gets is a couple of hours and a little more of cardboard-faced acting and cliché-ridden storytelling. Some may in fact find that intellectually stimulating, but as far as most people reading this review and myself are concerned, we deserve and can handle better.

Now if you are still reading this review, I must applaud your tolerance.

Zeher is a story about a hardworking cop (Emran Hashmi) whose ex-cop wife (Shamita Shetty) accuses him of curtailing her freedom, and as a result, walks out on him. Of course thanedaar saheb still loves his wife but is too proud to go down the apologetic route. So he has an affair with the local goon’s wife (Udita Goswami) and even professes his love for her. But she is dying of cancer and has three months left to live. A person fatally suffering from cancer is bound to show some symptoms, but our thanedaar who is apparently smart enough to head his department, doesn’t question a thing when the only symptom his newfound girlfriend seems to display is a heightened libido. She needs money

to treat her cancer and he has money in his office safe, retrieved from a drug bust he recently completed (apparently nobody else from the entire precinct knows how much money was recovered). Things don’t exactly go as planned and the ex-cop wife re-enters the picture rekindling the old flame (thanedaar saheb can be excused for sleeping with another woman but god forbid his wife has dinner with a male friend). Ten minutes into the movie and audiences will have absolutely no trouble predicting the attempted plot twists. As a matter of fact, my guess is you have predicted them already.

Debutante director Mohit Suri doesn’t display much potential as a storyteller and neither is he able to direct his actors believably. Shamita Shetty glares and frowns and yells trying to pull off the aggressive, tough cop act, but let’s face it Ms. Shetty - Sushmita Sen or Sandhya Mridul you are not. Emran Hashmi who impressed with his earlier performances is unable to spark any life into his grossly confused and misguided character.

Udita Goswami’s non-performance reminds us of early 90s “actor” and Bhatt camp regular Atul Agnihotri. It is indeed amazing how Ms. Goswami carries the same stoic expression on her face regardless of whether she is laughing, crying, or seducing her hero.

There are better DVDs to rent even if you simply want to kill some time on a weekend. Zeher is certainly not one I would recommend. I would however recommend listening to the addictive Woh Lamhe by Atif from the film’s soundtrack. Enough said.