Planet Bollywood
Producer: Eklavya Visions P. Ltd.
Director: Kamal
Starring: Ajay Devgan, Mahima Chaudhary, Amisha Patel, Shakti Kapoor, Kulbushan Kharbanda, Alok Nath.
Music: Jatin-Lalit, Nikhil-Vinay
Lyrics: Sameer, Praveen Bharadwaj, and Israr Ansari
Genre: Drama
Recommended Audience: General
Approximate Running Time: 130 mins
Film Released on: 25 February 2005
Reviewed by: Shahid Khan  - Rating: 2.0 / 10
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Public Rating Average: 5.1 / 10 (rated by 411 viewers)
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Samajh nahi aa raha ke main kya karoon… Royun ya hasoon (I have no idea how to react… To cry or to laugh)?” remarks an exasperated Ajay Devgan towards the end of the film. In a sense, he is only echoing the feelings of the audience.

A girls-only college is gaggling with excitement because a handsome boy is walking through the courtyard. This handsome boy is Suraj (Ajay Devgan) and all the besotted college girls ask him why he is here. “Because I like girls” is his ever-so-charming reply. He is also here because he is the newly assigned chemistry teacher. The news reaches Pooja (Amisha Patel) and her friends. Pooja is all excited and giggly because it is a rare chance for her to get near a

jawaan ladka.

And sure enough Pooja’s first lesson with Suraj is something to remember. She sets off firecrackers. From here on begin Amisha’s toe-curling attempts at comedy. Every time she repeats “sirrrr” and flickers her eyelashes, you suddenly find violent tendencies in yourself, which you never knew existed.

Amisha’s asthmatic shouts of “Main aapse pyar karti hoon! I LOVE YOU!” to a bored Ajay (bored as in “I can’t be bothered to act, when does this shooting schedule finish?”) across a street is a signal of things to come. You see Pooja has the hots for Suraj; only he has the hots for Supriya (Mahima Chaudhary), a paralysed maiden who has the hots for dancing.

Supriya and Suraj are both engaged but evil Pooja has other plans on her mind. She taunts the impossibly angelic Supriya about her disability and the fact that she won’t be able to dance around trees like any other normal Bollywood heroine. The guilt-ridden doormat that is Supriya, she breaks off her engagement with Suraj. The psychotic college student is then jumping into her professor’s lap. And not only that, they tie the knot too. Boo hoo.

The story is from the old commercial form of Bollywood cinema where every character made senseless sacrifices. Never mind now, such type of cinema was outdated even back in 2001 (when they started shooting “Zameer”). Of the cast, Mahima Chaudhary and

Shakti Kapoor (as the kind teacher) try their best but their efforts are futile in such a film. Moreover, someone else has dubbed Mahima’s voice and this hampers her performance.

As for Amisha Patel, the less said the better. The film is all about her character and the actress’ hamming makes large portions of the movie very unwatchable. Ajay Devgan sleepwalks his way through his role. These two also came together for “Parwana” and their only projects together have provided them with some of the worst movies in their filmography. Maybe they had better stay away from each other.

Ajay had also better stay away from Mahima, as they only seem to star in inane love triangles. First “Dil Kya Kare”, “Deewane” and now this. No more please!

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