Krishna Cottage   Producer: Ekta Kapoor and Shoba Kapoor Director: Santram Verma Starring: Isha Koppikar, Sohail Khan, Natasha Music: Anu Malik, Vishal-Shekhar Lyrics: Sanjay Chhel, Nilesh Mishra, Shekhar Singers: Sunidhi Chauhan, Shaan, Shreya Ghoshal, Vishal, Kumar Sanu, Alka Yagnik Audio On: Times Music    Number of Songs: 5 Album Released on: February 2004 Reviewed by: Ron Ahluwalia  - Rating: 3.5 / 10   Let us know what you think about this review

After ruling the roost of the small screen for many years, Ekta Kapoor is out to conquer cinema halls everywhere–again. Good luck Ekta, you´re gonna need it! Her past two ventures (Kyo Kii...Main Jhoot Nahin Bolta and the recent Kucch To Hai) have well-deserved their flop status as they were sickly "inspired" by successful Hollywood movies (Liar Liar and Scream/I Know What You Did Last Summer, respectively). Krishna Cottage is most likely another attempt to cash in on someone else´s success and not much can really be expected from it; small cast, small production values and bad music. But what catches the eye is the spelling of the film´s title: it´s actually spelt correctly. Yes, Ekta´s "K" obsession is rather evident, but there have been no radical alterations to the spelling. It seems as though Ekta´s failures as a producer are gradually bringing her back to reality. The "K" didn´t spell success for her soundtrack, that´s for sure. Krishna Cottage has functioned as a musical recycle bin and the results are–going with the theme of the film–horrific.

Ekta Kapoor´s allergy to originality is known to all, but it seems like Anu Malik was bitten by her bug. Bindaas couldn´t touch originality with a 100-foot pole! Malik has stooped to the new low of copying his own work. With last year´s Ding Dong Ding (from Ekta Kapoor´s Kucch To Hai) is still fresh in our minds, Malik produces a long with the EXACT rhythm! What´s worse is that he makes Sunidhi Chauhan sing in the SAME style as she did for Ding Dong Ding. As for Shaan, he´s a mere replacement for KK, and does what´s been asked of him. Not much is expected from Sanjay Chhel anyway, as a director or a lyricist, so his efforts in this song do not come as a surprise.

Things start to somewhat brighten up with Shreya Ghoshal´s rendition of Suna Suna. She reminds us of Anuradha Paudwal´s brilliance in Paap´s Intezaar, but gives it the special Shreya touch. Of course, beautiful lyrics always help and Nilesh Mishra comes to Shreya´s aid with all his might. Nilesh is a true master of the pen. Suna Suna could have been a perfect song it were not for Anu Malik´s sad attempt at creativity; his overall composition is nothing to write home about, but he should not have added those ridiculous interludes of "horror music." The song completely loses its long-term repeat value. Oh well...

Malik obviously didn´t think that Krishna Cottage deserved the time of day to think of semi-authentic material, so he must have dug into his large stash of popular numbers. From his search, he found the song Dil Ka Darwaaza from Main Khiladi Tu Anari. He decided to take the song´s tune, throw in some revolting sound effects and use them in Aaju Mein Tum. How a song that is more appropriate for a Govinda flick is supposed to work in a horror movie is beyond me. They lyrics are idiotic beyond belief. What´s even more pathetic is that Kumar Sanu and Alka Yagnik sing this song with so much energy, almost as though this song would revive their drowning careers! What a shame...

So Sunidhi and Shaan are back for Uff! Yun Maa. So what Malik composition does this song take its foundation? Banda Yeh Bindaas Hai from Aks. But the copying doesn´t end there! Malik even takes a page from the book of Himesh Reshammiya (who is a self-copying expert himself, too). Malik calls for Shaan to pronounce his "r"´s with an Anglicized accent. To say the least, this song is fraudulent, loud and downright boring.

Thank god for Vishal-Shekhar. If anyone can make an impact and that too with one song, it´s Vishal-Shekhar. As guest composers, they were fantastic in Rudraksh with Ishq Hai Nasha and they don´t disappoint in Krishna Cottage with Hamesha. The music is along the lines of Jhankaar Beats and is as catchy and entertaining as they come. Don´t feel bad if you wear-out the rewind button. Vishal is a talented singer who should extend his talents to other composers and Shekhar is a splendid lyricist. The wait for their next soundtrack as main composers will most likely be worth it.

Sadly, Vishal-Shekhar´s contribution to Krishna Cottage comes in much too late to save a lost cause. An album that is abound in tunes from older songs is just not worth it. Anu Malik severely disappoints. Where is the talent that recently produced great soundtracks like Saaya, Inteha, and LOC? You can question Anu Malik´s reasoning behind such a half-interested effort, but the reality of Krishna Cottage is set in stone: it´s awful.